Turning a Liberal into a Republican

I went to the Drinking Liberally event Friday night at Piper Down. ("Piper Down"- that's another blog all by itself...) I had called Megan Risbon to meet me there, and I also hoped to see my son there as well. Last time I had gone to one of the DL Friday night events, was when Marcos of DailyKos came to town. I had a great time and had no reason to have any other expectations.

The topic was "Education" and the speaker was Pat Rusk, who is the former President of the Utah Education Association.

I am here to publicly state that the people who were at DL tonight were uninviting, unwelcoming, and cliqueish. I have had more positive response to my presence at the Legionaires meeting.

The "Liberals" at this event were anything but "liberal" in the intent of the word.

These folks were judgemental to statements made which disagreed with their stance. My son's statements about public schools and private schools from his own experience were met with "You sound Republican." (from a man named "John" who was wearing a bright red "Harvard Club" shirt, sitting across the patio.)

Now, I'm just as guilty as Harvard-John was in using the term "Republican" as a pejorative. However, my retort that the "Democratic Party is a party of inclusiveness, including all points of view" was ignored.

Pat spoke using both facts and passion about the need for a change in our Legislature's priorites. Education needs to be funded. Vouchers and Private Schools are evil. She brought a book full of facts and evidence to show that although Utah has one of the highest levels of success on testing, they are also paying their teachers at one of the lowest rates in the United States. Good teachers are leaving, and good teachers cannot be recruited.

As the majority of the group nodded their heads and agreed that things were horrible for Utah's students, the idea that we should give more money to the public school system was the solution de jour.

Gee, can I still be a Democrat if I disagree with the solution? Can I still be a "liberal" if I have other ideas about the education system than those of the attendees?

I have more than 20 years of experience and contact with the educational system in Utah, as a parent, a special education teacher and a psychotherapist. And I'm here to say that I think that any student deviating from the mean or average is S.O.L. in this system.

I wish we had more than simplistic solutions; more money, higher pay (more money) and smaller classrooms.

But this is digression, my views on the public school system come from my own experiences, so I am willing to admit that they might be skewed.
However, the people (with one or two exceptions) at tonight's event were boors.


When I told Dan about this experience he said "Well, they're a bunch of drunks.." the implication being that one doesn't have to take them seriously.

I have thought about both Dan's comment ( one of a lifetime of witty incisive remarks) and my strong reaction to the group.

I thought I had learned and have attempted to teach other people that when we get strong emotional reactions to others that (a.) They are getting us to feel like they do, e.g. angry, threatened, inadequate (b.) they remind us of someone, (c.) they remind us of our our own unresolved issues.

Okay, did that group feel threatened by Josh's and my comments? Probably. If one really believes in something as true, one doesn't need to defend oneself or indulge in name calling.

Did Harvard John feel threatened by me? Probably. I charged over to the table where he was sitting and attempted to engage him in a discussion on why he was useing categorizing and dismissive comments to respond to points of view that were different from his.

He responded to me by being rude and snide and, again, dismissive. He said "Oh, I understand, you are this young man's mother; that's why you acted this way." Thank you Daddy John. No wonder I was upset. It wasn't your behavior, it was my need to protect my son.

(b.) and (c.) also apply. They reminded me of all the "cool kids" in Junior High School at the cafeteria who weren't nice to the non cool kids. Those Junior High cool kids never said "hi" or introduced themselves to newcomers either.

My unresolved issue; I need to feel understood. When I am understood I can relax, even if what I say is not mutually agreed upon. When I have a political or emotional discussion with a person with whom I disagree, and we both end up saying "Ok, I get where you are coming from, and I still don't agree." We are both still winners.

So, to indulge in a little characterizing and name calling of my own; why in the hell would I care what an over -60 -year -old man, with obviously dyed black hair that looks like a shitty toupee, wearing a "Harvard Club" shirt, who had to use his two friends to back up his opinion ("My two friends on either side of me also thought you were a Republican") probably drinking too much and fearful of facing opposing thought...where was I? Oh yeah, why would his opinion matter to me?

What did I learn? Hmmm- don't state my opinion in public? No.

Recognize that when I am reacting emotionally that the issue is part of a greater issue?

I'll think more about this and get back to you.
Any comments, Danubistheconcise?