To the Tribune,
Thanks for feeding the "Fear and Smear" campaign sponsored by Bush and Company in regards to the Monday Tribune headline regarding the poll that states that
"45% of Utahans polled think dissent aids enemies"!
So the protest about economic policies, lying to the public, taking away constitutional rights from citizens by spying on our own, "Good Job Brownie" is giving aid to the enemy?

I'm so confused; is the "enemy" the people who think the current administration is doing a poor job of protecting it's citizens? I can't see terrorists thinking "This is so great! The American people who disagree with Bush's policies of disrespecting the citizens of the United States are protesting! That sure gives me aid and comfort!"

Just for that, I'm going to show up on Wednesday's rally with a sign that says "It's the economy, stupid! Not just the war!"

Reaction formation:
A defense mechanism whereby an unconscious and unacceptable impulse or feeling that would cause anxiety is converted into its opposite so it can become conscious and be expressed. For example, a person adopts a set of attitudes and behaviors that are the opposite of his or her true dispositions...

If my child died in a senseless stupid pointless war in a country that did not attack us and in which we are the guards against a civil war...My reaction formation: I love our country, I love our President, and I love this war.

It's a normal response, it's a human response. I can't begin to imagine the torture of losing a child, and to lose a child for a lie would be unbearable.

But to tell me that I can't support the soldiers and marines in this war and not support the war...

I love my country. I love being an American. I believe we have the duty to protest against the leaders in our government who are acting in a manner which is contrary to true American values.

One of my most adored family members is in Iraq serving in the military. That is his job, he signed up for it. He knows that part of the reason we are there is economic.

I do not support the war in Iraq. It was an attack on a soverign nation. It was brought to us by motives that we will never know, motives that had nothing to do with the defense of this countries freedom.

Bring our children home. I hate this war. And I love and support all the young people who are fighting and being killed in that sand-filled hell.

Turning a Liberal into a Republican

I went to the Drinking Liberally event Friday night at Piper Down. ("Piper Down"- that's another blog all by itself...) I had called Megan Risbon to meet me there, and I also hoped to see my son there as well. Last time I had gone to one of the DL Friday night events, was when Marcos of DailyKos came to town. I had a great time and had no reason to have any other expectations.

The topic was "Education" and the speaker was Pat Rusk, who is the former President of the Utah Education Association.

I am here to publicly state that the people who were at DL tonight were uninviting, unwelcoming, and cliqueish. I have had more positive response to my presence at the Legionaires meeting.

The "Liberals" at this event were anything but "liberal" in the intent of the word.

These folks were judgemental to statements made which disagreed with their stance. My son's statements about public schools and private schools from his own experience were met with "You sound Republican." (from a man named "John" who was wearing a bright red "Harvard Club" shirt, sitting across the patio.)

Now, I'm just as guilty as Harvard-John was in using the term "Republican" as a pejorative. However, my retort that the "Democratic Party is a party of inclusiveness, including all points of view" was ignored.

Pat spoke using both facts and passion about the need for a change in our Legislature's priorites. Education needs to be funded. Vouchers and Private Schools are evil. She brought a book full of facts and evidence to show that although Utah has one of the highest levels of success on testing, they are also paying their teachers at one of the lowest rates in the United States. Good teachers are leaving, and good teachers cannot be recruited.

As the majority of the group nodded their heads and agreed that things were horrible for Utah's students, the idea that we should give more money to the public school system was the solution de jour.

Gee, can I still be a Democrat if I disagree with the solution? Can I still be a "liberal" if I have other ideas about the education system than those of the attendees?

I have more than 20 years of experience and contact with the educational system in Utah, as a parent, a special education teacher and a psychotherapist. And I'm here to say that I think that any student deviating from the mean or average is S.O.L. in this system.

I wish we had more than simplistic solutions; more money, higher pay (more money) and smaller classrooms.

But this is digression, my views on the public school system come from my own experiences, so I am willing to admit that they might be skewed.
However, the people (with one or two exceptions) at tonight's event were boors.


When I told Dan about this experience he said "Well, they're a bunch of drunks.." the implication being that one doesn't have to take them seriously.

I have thought about both Dan's comment ( one of a lifetime of witty incisive remarks) and my strong reaction to the group.

I thought I had learned and have attempted to teach other people that when we get strong emotional reactions to others that (a.) They are getting us to feel like they do, e.g. angry, threatened, inadequate (b.) they remind us of someone, (c.) they remind us of our our own unresolved issues.

Okay, did that group feel threatened by Josh's and my comments? Probably. If one really believes in something as true, one doesn't need to defend oneself or indulge in name calling.

Did Harvard John feel threatened by me? Probably. I charged over to the table where he was sitting and attempted to engage him in a discussion on why he was useing categorizing and dismissive comments to respond to points of view that were different from his.

He responded to me by being rude and snide and, again, dismissive. He said "Oh, I understand, you are this young man's mother; that's why you acted this way." Thank you Daddy John. No wonder I was upset. It wasn't your behavior, it was my need to protect my son.

(b.) and (c.) also apply. They reminded me of all the "cool kids" in Junior High School at the cafeteria who weren't nice to the non cool kids. Those Junior High cool kids never said "hi" or introduced themselves to newcomers either.

My unresolved issue; I need to feel understood. When I am understood I can relax, even if what I say is not mutually agreed upon. When I have a political or emotional discussion with a person with whom I disagree, and we both end up saying "Ok, I get where you are coming from, and I still don't agree." We are both still winners.

So, to indulge in a little characterizing and name calling of my own; why in the hell would I care what an over -60 -year -old man, with obviously dyed black hair that looks like a shitty toupee, wearing a "Harvard Club" shirt, who had to use his two friends to back up his opinion ("My two friends on either side of me also thought you were a Republican") probably drinking too much and fearful of facing opposing thought...where was I? Oh yeah, why would his opinion matter to me?

What did I learn? Hmmm- don't state my opinion in public? No.

Recognize that when I am reacting emotionally that the issue is part of a greater issue?

I'll think more about this and get back to you.
Any comments, Danubistheconcise?

Just met my granddoggiedaughter and I feel much better. Something about a baby...

She's beautiful and mellow. They kept the name Dana from her old owners. It was meant to be, she is named after her "daddy". Jezze, I used to hate it when people personified their pets...but now I do it.

It was also good for me to see my Jenny and Dan; I feel more connected and they certainly are so happy together.

I guess I just needed to sleep and see my kids to put things in perspective.

I'm still not going to refer anyone to Drinking Liberally again...unless they get a puppy for me.

Here are some reasons I am feeling insecure today.

I went to a "Drinking Liberally" event and left feeling unworthy of being a liberal. My views were "'Republican" according to a few people's comments. I guess I'm not liberal enough.

The neighbors across the street had a huge party last night. I was feeling the normal "oh they're having a party" thoughts when I then noticed our next door neighbors walking over to join the festivities. That added to my feelings of rejection. Normally I feel a bit left out when the Mormons stand out in the street and talk to each other, ignoring the few non members. This particular family is one to whom I have made deliberate outreach. Their son died a while ago. I wrote a letter to the mom on mother's day night expressing my concern about her, and her love for her son and grandchildren. I had also stated that I wished I knew her better.

We talked a few days later; they were going to Africa with their siblings. She told me that the letter I wrote had "made her day" and meant so much to her.

When they returned from Africa, the next Sunday they had people over, I assumed the guests were from their ward. Josh made a home made pizza for them as a "welcome home. "

We brought it over, their youngest son was going on a mission, which was the ostensible reason for the party that day. We chatted briefly.

So, seeing the neighbors walk over, seeing the "We miss you Chad: (heart)" spelled out on the chain link fence with blue and red paper drink cups hurt my feelings.

Then, Dan called this morning, "Is Josh there." Not, "Hi mom, this is Dan, how are you, is Josh there."

He and Jenny are going to buy a puppy. Michael and I suggested that they get a kennel for it. "No, we don't want to keep it in a cage." When Michael suggested that they keep it in a kennel at home during the day, Dan said that they found "doggie day care", they were going to bring it over to Jen's mom's house during the day.

Michael remarked that this shows what will be happening with a baby.

I see the future...my grandchild learning from people in another culture. Learing to be more of a Bowen than a Luskin-Ginsberg.

What a sense of loss I feel right now.

I'm trying to keep in mind that people don't have bad intentions. That I need to ascribe positive intentions to their actions. That most of the decisions people make have nothing to do with me.

I'll get there. It just hurts right now.

RAYA'S BACK !

My son Josh's girlfriend is back in town..she says it's forever, or at least for the next five years while she finishes her undergraduate degree.

Being the fearful- anxious- neurotic-person that I am, I love her and then am afraid to love her so much.

Because obviously something so wonderful can't last for me...(Time to increase the medication...)

WHITE AS A BENCHMARK

I got this info from Wikipedia - I was just sitting at the computer getting a couple of CEU's knocked off...another story...I'm reading about Social Work for the aging, and the tag "minority and cultural awareness" popped up. This brought me to the phrase used by a person I know who is involved with politics. She wears her diversity status like ...a tight sweater! She calls herself a woman of color and refers to people of color during most of the conversations or, actually, monologues in which she engages.

A friend of mine and I think that whenever this woman says "people of color" that phrase translates to "HISPANIC".

Soooo, in my typical avoidance of studying, I went to Wikipedia and looked up "people of color" to see if it included other ethnic groups aside from Hispanic...(I knew it would, I just wanted to have written validation while I avoided learning about the aging population.)

"Person of color" or "people of color" are synonyms for people who are not white in the United States and for members of a non-white group. Some find this term equally offensive as the term "colored", primarily because it fixes whites as the benchmark for racial division, fostering an allegedly "us-versus-them" view of race relations.

Proponents of the term maintain that it must be realistically acknowledged that race domination is primarily caucasian, and that the term "person of color" is a better generic term for the racial underclass than "black person" as it includes ethnicities other than those strictly of African descent. This may include some Chicano/Latino, who can be white or of color, Asian American and many indigenous groups that also experience racism.

Hey, I get to be a "person of color" to the Islamistremists!

Wedding Day Photo on Dan and Jenny's wedding at Red Butte..of me and Michael..you can see a partial shot of Nathan, the ring bearer.
I look pretty happy. I ended up liking my dress, and my hair and make up...and was only tearful when Dan and I danced to a Josh Grobin song ; "You raise me up" for the mother son dance.

He and Jen looked so very happy.

I'd like to go back and do the whole day over so I can experience it more completely. I think now that I spent too much time talking to people who don't matter that much to me. I would like more time sitting at the table where Bob Goldberg sat, with Sue and Joe Moore and Jan and Bill.

Listening to Loren pontificate his views of people and life took my attention from what I wanted and needed to do. Like speaking Martian. He is sincere, and well meaning, but totally out of touch with the World as I See it...he was telling me that one of the kids in the wedding was "lost" and would never make anything of himself... This particular kid has a high gpa, can go to college, and has worked through school to buy things that his mom can't aford to get for him. He is sweet and funny and happens to have long blong hair...maybe an earing or two. BFD.

Although Loren was praising Dan (worthy of praise) he was also dissing
Nikky....for no reason that I can think of except to project himself as an "expert" or as someone who knew what they were talking about.

Reminds me of the people who stand in front of paintings at an art museum and discuss the meaning behind a splash of paint and what the painter was "trying to convey". Bleech and Annie Hall.

Check this out...
I'd cut and paste but have to get permission first. In the meantime, read this blog about Al Gore and those of the dark side that are trying to discredit him...

http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2006/08/shady-business.html