So I had a blow out Saturday. I was doing the "arm rest fight" with the woman sitting next to me, a 70 something old woman with thinning hair dyed orange. She was with a group of people which included an enormous fat tall man, and a "mentally challenged" adult. There was an empty seat next to her but she chose to be a bitch and sat next to me.
I got really angry, but after attempting to win the arm rest like with an elbow fighting contest, without saying anything to each other , I just moved closer to Michael. After the second intermission, I put my coat and scarf on the armrest, resisting the impulse to pour water all over her seat. (Borderline thoughts). She and her guests came back and I could hear them talking about me.
They brought the "challenged man" (wow look at those lights, no look at THOSE lights, scratch my nose, almost pick it, rock back and forth while standing wow, look at those other lights) back to sit next to her, she threw my coat and scarf over to my side.
The situation escalated to the point where I called her a bitch and she told me that in the 30 years since she had been coming to the theatre I was the RUDEST PERSON SHE HAD EVER MET! She complained that I was kicking her and then she began to kick me. Cut to the part where I yelled for Michael to come to me, he was totally oblivious, which also pissed me off.
(Why doesn't he notice that I am in trouble and need him???)
We left the theatre, after complaining without hope of anything changing; what could the management do, except try and calm me down... ( more attention needed. please).
Michael and I went for a walk, drove to a soup restaurant, began to see things more in perspective. I kept crying..why was she so mean, what should I have done to make it better?
Michael did reassure me that orange haired lady had more responsibility in the escalation than I did.
I went to a party that night for one of Michael's friends.
While there, I called Josh and he listened while I talked about the situation. I decided that there is a pattern here.
I hit Sheila's mom's hand when she pointed it in my face. She had been taunting me all night at my brother's 50th birthday celebration in Portland.)
I almost hit Billie Gay about a month ago, when she got both physically and emotionally in my space and face.
And this mean little woman did the same thing; tried to control me. LIKE MY MOM!!! Duh.
Michael said for the last episode, I should have changed seats with him. Yes, but he should have noticed that something was wrong and taken care of me. I hate that part of our relationship.
So, a plan must be made for me. Now that I am aware of the triggers, I need to remove myself from the situation. Not try and fight, not try and WIN, because I won't.
I'll never win against the past with my mother and I'll never win in the present with older women who are trying to (my perception) control me or make me feel bad. It isn't going to work in my favor.
I hate old women and now since my last birthday I turned 58, I am going to be one.